


Constellations

by Seaofartisticwords



Series: Shouyou and Tobio: adventures of Paralysed and Sick [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Funeral, Letters, M/M, Sick Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6506149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seaofartisticwords/pseuds/Seaofartisticwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Funerals aren't for the dead, but for the living.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Constellations

"Tobio-san?" A gentle voice shook Kageyama out of his sleep. Ever since Hinata's death three days ago, all Kageyama had been doing was sleeping and using the bathroom when necessary. He had lost all will for anything.  
"What?" Kageyama groaned.  
"We've got great news for you." The voice said. Kageyama bolted into a sitting position and stared intently at the doctor standing next to him. All he could think in his mind was that somehow they revived Hinata. That Hinata wasn't dead.  
"What is it?" Kageyama could hear the amount of uncharacteristic eagerness that flooded his voice.  
"We've got a lung donation for you."  
"No." No matter how long Kageyama had been waiting for this moment, he wasn't going to go on living if he couldn't do it with Hinata.   
"I'm sorry, Tobio-san. But, you are in no position to deny this transplant." The doctor explained. "The donor was insistent about what type of patient received their lungs. You also have the same blood type. This opportunity could save your life."  
Kageyama kept quiet and glared sharply at the wall. "I don't want-"  
"Your parents have already approved the surgery." The doctor continued, interrupting Kageyama. "It's tomorrow."

* * *

  
The sun. It was shining way to brightly in Kageyama's face. The happy summer day seemed to ignore everything he was feeling and portray the opposite.  
The black haired boy walked up to the cemetery gate. He pulled out his phone and checked the time and date.  
 _11:37, June 22._  
Kageyama let out a bitter laugh. Today would have been Hinata's birthday, had he no gotten involved. If Kageyama hadn't taken him up that flight of stairs. If Kageyama shielded him with his own body, perhaps the smaller boy wouldn't have been the one being buried.  
And yet, Kageyama was at the cemetery for the death of a boy he loved, that he caused, completely healed. He was IPF free, but less happy than he was expecting.  
He trailed through the endless gravestones until he reached the plot surrounded by a group of people. As he approached the people, the sun seemed to disappear into their black clothing. One thought crossed Kageyama's mind.  
He did not want to be there.  
He did not want to be at the cemetery, because putting Shouyou Hinata's body into the ground would only make his death real. Because he was surrounded by people who loved Hinata so much, and he was the reason he was taken from them so early.  
Because Hinata was not dead.  
And yet, he was sitting pale and lifeless in a coffin in the middle of the cemetery.  
Kageyama dragged his feet, unwillingly, up to the small wooden box on the black clothed table next to the six foot deep hole in the ground.   
The coffin lid was open. It wasn't something Kageyama was looking forward to, but he glanced over the edge. Inside was Hinata, a peaceful smile planted on his face from his last few moments alive.   
Kageyama felt like someone had punched him in the chest. Like someone had suddenly given him IPF again. He felt like he couldn't breathe.   
It hit him for the first time, that Hinata was really dead.  
Fresh tears slipped down Kageyama's face as he gripped the edge of the coffin tightly. He refused to believe that Hinata was dead. There was no way that the boy who was so full of light and sunshine could be dead.  
"We are gathered here today," The priest started, signalling to Kageyama that he should sit somewhere in the crowd. "To celebrate the life of Hinata Shouyou..."

* * *

  
The ceremony was quiet and sad. A few of Hinata's previous roommates and family members spoke. Thankfully, Kageyama wasn't called up to speak. He was glad for that. He had no speech prepared, and he was afraid he was going to burst into tears if he had to speak about the boy who had only ever wanted to see the stars.   
Most of the family and friends were streaming from the cemetery slowly, saying parting goodbyes as they walked away from the fresh mound of dirt in the ground. But, Kageyama just stood in from of the freshly covered grave with tears rolling down his face.  
Suddenly, something tugged at the bottom of his suit jacket.  
Kageyama looked down to see Hinata's little sister Natsu looking up at him with a small smile. She was almost a perfect replica of Hinata, with the same large brown eyes and orange curls.  
"Tobio-san?" She asked with the sweetest voice. Kageyama nodded. "Shouyou-chan wanted you to have this! I know we aren't going to see him for a long time, but don't forget to thank him when you see him again. Okay?"   
Kageyama looked at her with wide eyes, but accepted the small package and letter with a nod. "Okay."   
"Bye, Tobio-san!" She skipped away, her black dressed flowing fluidly as she jumped back to her tearful mother.

* * *

  
Kageyama lingered around the cemetery for hours after the funeral, trying to gather the courage to open the package and letter. He sat at the foot Hinata's grave.  
As dusk started to fall and embrace the sky in the place pinks and oranges, Kageyama ripped the first amount of paper from the wrapped rectangle. As he peeled away the plain black wrapping, the cover of a book appeared.  
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.  
Assuming that the letter he had received would give more context to the book, Kageyama opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of notebook paper.  
Please read the note on the inside cover of the book first.  
The black haired teen tilted his head like a confused dog, but opened the front cover of the book anyway. He was met with crammed handwriting inside the front cover, handwriting that matched with Hinata's.  
The note read:  
 _Dear Tobio,_  
I want you to know, I love you. Thank you for trying to take me to see the stars, it means a lot. Thank you for everything you've done to make me happy!   
Sorry I made us fall down the stairs, I feel bad that you got hurt. But, I'm glad I got hurt more than you did, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died or something because of me.  
I'm sort of sad we didn't actually get to see the stars, but I know once you get released you can see them for me!

_I love you,  
Shouyou_

_P.s. Don't worry about me, I'm perfectly fine and I'm still alive! You haven't hurt me and I'm not going to die on you_.

  
Kageyama let out a bitter laugh after finishing the note. "You aren't still alive, you idiot!" He murmured under his breath while placing the book next to him on the grass. He picked up the letter again, and began reading where he left off.  
The writing was smudged and rushed looking on the paper. There were spots where the paper was wrinkled from getting wet and drying up.

  
 _If you've read the note inside the book, than you may keep reading._  
-  
 _Dear Tobio,  
So this is it. Obviously, since you're reading this I'm dead. I thought maybe if I wrote 'I'm not going to die' enough times it would come true, but I guess not.  
Don't blame yourself for my death.  
I'm begging you, please.  
Yes, sure, the only reason I'm dead now is because we fell down those stairs. But that was my fault._  
 _The moment I woke up from my surgery, doctors were standing over me. The words they said next terrified me. They said I'm not going to live much longer than a month.  
I'm sorry.  
Also, I have a question for you:   
Enjoying your healthy lungs?_  
 _I'm sure you're confused. 'How did you know I got a lung transplant, you're dead?'  
They're my lungs, silly. The moment I heard I was going to die, I pleaded with the doctors to give my lungs to you once I'm dead. So you can see the stars and breath in the outside air, and I can see them and breath with you.  
It's the middle of the night, and I'm sitting in the hospital room writing this to you with you in the bed beside me. I feel so silly for writing this sappy love note to you even though I'm not dead yet. But then again, how could I write it if I was dead?   
I love you._  
 _I love you so much, Tobio.  
I knew from the moment you told me you were going to let me see the stars in person that I'm in love with you.  
Not was.  
I was not in love with you.  
I still am_.  
 _Even if you move on and find other people to love, I will still love you. I will always be waiting for you in the realm of the dead to find me again. I beg that you don't forget about me before then, though._  
Thanks for kissing me, too.

 _Lots of love,_  
Hinata Shouyou  
The letter fluttered to the ground as Kageyama dropped it in shock.   
"Hinata, you're such a dumbass!" He shouted into the empty night. "You're so stupid!" The pain Kageyama felt with his IPF was nothing compared to the pain he was feeling from Hinata's death.  
He collapsed forward onto his hands and knees on the fresh dirt of Hinata's grave. Tears fell down the boy's face and landed on the dirt below.   
"Hinata, you idiot!" Kageyama sobbed to the grave. "Hinata!" He choked back his scream with a sob and buried his forehead in the dirt. "I love you so much..."

* * *

  
As Kageyama Tobio walked away from the cemetery that night, he looked up at the stars with tears in his eyes.  
"I hope you can see the stars from where you are now, Hinata." He whispered. "So you can see that they only shine for you."  
Kageyama could have sworn he heard the words _I can_ as the wind blew past.

_fin_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Terms/Info:  
> Lung transplant: yes I realise that this isn't really how lung transplants work but shush  
> -  
> I'm legit sobbing, don't listen to Mama by MCR while reading this


End file.
